Star Trek extravaganza

OK, so prior to a few weeks ago, I’d only seen three “Star Trek” films: the 2009 reboot, “The Final Frontier” and “Generations.” But then a rewatch of 2009’s “Star Trek” inspired a “Star Trek” binge, and I eventually came to see all the films (including rewatching the ones I hadn’t seen for years and thus didn’t remember much).

And so I wanted to rank the “Star Trek” films by preference, but I decided not to include the reboot for this ranking, mainly because it is a reboot and is trying to be a somewhat separate retelling. And, while some people would argue that “The Next Generation” films should be separate from the films featuring the original cast, they are really part of the same story line, as “Generations” acts as a link between the two. Thus, I feel it’s appropriate to rank these 10 films together while leaving out the 2009 film. So now... in order from worst to best...

WARNING: There be spoilers ahead. Proceed with caution.

10. Star Trek: The Motion Picture. What she said. Seriously, though, it’s very slow and the actors seem to have lost their connections to the characters. Kirk comes across as an ass, and the story itself feels like a really, really, really, really long episode. There’s only have enough story for an episode, so they fill up the extra time with countless, meandering shots of the spaceship, space, etc. And no humor was included (at least none I could spot). And, at the end, I couldn’t help but wonder: Kirk, did you just help in the creation of the Borg race (you know that super-evil one?)?

9. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Also boring and slow, but the main advantage “The Final Frontier” had over “The Motion Picture” is it has some humor. Sure, it’s silly, childish humor, but it made me laugh. Plus, this film also gave us a really nice scene in which we witness Bones and Spock see their greatest pain played out before them. But it takes about an hour for the real plot – finding a mythical planet where God may reside – to start, and it feels a little too philosophical.

8. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. There’s a gap between the bad “Star Trek” films and the good “Star Trek” films. “The Search for Spock” reaches neither side but falls somewhere in that valley, though it’s probably closer to the good edge. It’s a mostly slow start, and the mourning for Spock feels a little fake – or perhaps just too different from the previous film. But it’s got some good moments – Dr. McCoy going crazy as Spock’s soul takes over; the crew stealing the Enterprise and sabotaging the Excelsior; an exploding Enterprise; and an improved performance by Merritt Butrick, who reprises his role from “The Wrath of Khan” as Dr. David Marcus. Unfortunately, David’s death was simply underwhelming, and the Klingon foes felt a bit boring and flat.

7. Star Trek VII: Generations. This film acts as a bridge between the cast of the original series and “The Next Generation.” And it gets a bonus for that, but the film probably didn’t handle the coming together of the characters in the best of ways. Malcolm MacDowell gives a great, creepy performance as Soran, a man so obsessed with the positive experience of the Nexus that he’s willing to destroy entire planets to get it back again. Nicely disturbing. And Data’s first experience with an emotion chip brings some laughter. But the Nexus experience feels a little too spiritual and sappy. And Kirk’s involvement seems forced, and his death seems rather lackluster for such a sci-fi icon.

Read Film Cannon's take on "Generations."

6. Star Trek IX: Insurrection. ”Insurrection” presents an interesting race of people as the Ba’ku, who are technologically advanced but who have found eternal youth on their planet and have opted to live life more simply, to be at one with nature. It’s sweet to see William Riker and Denna Troi rekindle their relationship in this film. It’s also the first and only “Star Trek” film in which Starfleet is aligned with the enemy; a Starfleet admiral is one of the film’s greatest adversaries. The idea that the Son’a race (the evil group) were actually once members of the Ba’ku was an interesting twist that boosted a sometimes-bland story line.

5. Star Trek X: Nemesis. “Nemisis,” the final “Star Trek” film before the reboot, might have to be awarded the most artistic of the bunch. It’s got an interesting sepia-tone to it at parts, and it’s quite dark during much of the film. And it starts of pretty heavy as the entire Romulan Senate is killed in a blast/apparent terrorist attack. And the mood remains pretty dark and somber. We get a creepy, maniacal clone of Capt. Picard named Shinzon, who has led the military coup against Romulus. There’s a disturbing sex scene involving Troi, Riker and Shinzon. And Data’s got his own clone-type, as they find a droid identical to Data (scattered in pieces), but he’s more sympathetic than Picard’s counterpart, as his “evilness” isn’t exactly his fault. And there’s the fun scene when the Enterprise rams another ship … and the emotional scene when Data sacrifices himself to save Picard.

4. Star Trek VIII: First Contact.
This film brings one of the “Star Trek” universe’s most frightening villains, the Borg. It’s an interesting story, too, as the Borg somehow alters time to control Earth, and the Enterprise crew must go back in time to stop it from happening, but the Borg are there and are trying to “assimilate” the crew. It’s both funny and insightful to see the Enterprise crew encounter a historic hero (the man responsible for human’s first contact with aliens, the Vulcan) – and realize he’s a drunk who has no real desire to be either inspirational or a hero. It’s a nice way to show the theme of a fantasy better kept from afar. And then we get the interesting bits as Data is captured and is given human skin, so he can be half-human, half-machine, like the Borg. But, of course, he comes through at the end and deceives the Borg queen.

The bit about Picard being too arrogant and set on revenge that he can’t see the best option – but then he finally starts the self-destruct sequence – shows an intriguing human side to this well-revered captain.

3. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
OK, being ranked as the third best isn’t bad at all, but “The Wrath of Khan” could’ve been ranked much higher (maybe even first) if it hadn’t been for the fact that I felt the film was a little slow for me at the beginning.

But in Khan we get arguably the most intriguing “Star Trek” villain (though, I must say, his chest is quite distracting). He’s a genetically engineered superhuman hell bent on revenge against Capt. Jim Kirk (just what he or the Enterprise need, eh?)

“The Wrath of Khan” probably also has the most emotionally gripping moment of any “Star Trek” film – Spock’s death. That alone propels this film higher than most others.

But – in another bad note – Merritt Butrick delivers a very flat and wooden performance as Dr. David Marcus. Sadly, some of his scenes are nearly cringe-worthy.

2. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
It’d be quite easy for me to switch places for this film and the next one on this rankings list. In fact, I believe, “The Undiscovered Country” may be the better overall of the two films, but perhaps not my favorite.

“The Undiscovered Country” feels like a fun exploration of postcolonialism, providing a great allegory for cultural imperialism. Klingons and the United Federation of Planets have agreed to peace, but that doesn’t sit well with everybody – Kirk is quite uneasy about it. A question hangs over some: Will the Federation exert its control over its former enemies in ways of culture, morals and values?

There’s a great line when someone points out that the Federation’s term of “human rights” is – in and of itself – racist, because it implies humans are the superior species.

Anyway, there’s some great stuff in the story as Kirk and McCoy are blamed for an assassination (which, of course, they did not commit). A conspiracy unravels, and it’s learned that Spock’s protégé Valeris was part of it. There’s some great scenes, including a very tense dinner, as former enemies come to dine together and discuss subjects like politics (never bring politics up at the dinner table, especially when dining with your former warmongering enemies).

1. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
So, if I feel “The Undiscovered Country” is the better film, why is “The Voyage Home” my favorite? Well, as I said, it’s a tough call, but “The Voyage Home” is more enjoyable to watch, so it gets the slight edge. And it’s more enjoyable, because it’s quite humorous while the filmmakers seem to have fun with the story.

The whale story is weird, but again it’s a cool allegory for environmentalism, warning us to respect our planet. There’s another great line, in which Spock points out that humans are so arrogant to automatically think that any message sent to Earth is meant for them. Sure, the environmental stuff may be a bit over-the-top, but it doesn’t feel like the filmmakers are hitting us over the head with it (or at least not too hard).

And they have a lot of fun with time travel here: Spock trying to curse to fit in; Chekov asking where the nuclear facility (yep. He’s a Russian asking where nukes are in the Cold War era); and Scottie shrugging off giving out the secret of transparent aluminum.

And I enjoyed the relationship between Kirk and Dr. Gillian Taylor, which starts out rocky, but they become quite close when she finally becomes convinced that Kirk truly wants to help the whales. And it was a nice, somewhat brave, twist to see that the film had the courage to bring her to the future with the crew of the Enterprise.

Yet this is a film that hardly features the Enterprise. In fact, perhaps “The Voyage Home” the title refers to is not just about going to Earth but about our characters finding their way back to the Enterprise again – their true home.

Enjoyed reading my rankings of the “Star Trek” films? Want to know Amanda’s? Click here now (HINT: “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” isn’t likely to rank very well).